While I still wait for the tiny bugfix I made to FailClock to be approved, I received a rejection for another app from Apple, and this is the most absurd yet:

…we cannot post your application because it appears to include features that resemble Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris has previously objected to other applications that include features that use his name or likeness, and believes that such features infringe his rights.

Eh? Features that resemble Chuck Norris? Here is Chuck Norris (right) with Dennis Hansen (who?) in 1990 (picture courtesy of Wikipedia):

What features does my application have that resemble Chuck Norris? Does it have buttons in the shape of silly moustaches? No. Does it magic up a “friend” who has a ridiculous hairdo and get you to pose awkwardly for a Facetime shot when you run it? No. Does it turn you into a has-been who has only been able to make one movie in the last 5 years, a movie that was panned universally? No.

My app uses RSS feeds for dynamic content, so it may include a picture of Chuck Norris, in the same way that an RSS newsreader or twitter application might. Is a picture also a feature? Not where I learnt English. From wordnet:

S: (n) feature, characteristic (a prominent attribute or aspect of something) “the map showed roads and other features”; “generosity is one of his best characteristics”

A random image that just happened to appear is not a feature. It’s not a prominent attribute.

Features that resemble Chuck Norris?! If anyone has had a more ridiculous rejection reason from Apple, please do let me know.